The image above was sent to me earlier today. Though it is humorous, it also broke my heart. It is one of those funny because it is true things. Both the girl who sent this and whoever originally created this image knew something about us men that is not something to be esteemed. Men, or boys, have a tendency to expect sex regardless of how she feels about it. Guys, where do you think these women have gotten this impression? FROM US!
To better illustrate this point. Consider this, you have been on a few dates with a girl, and maybe even dating her already. You are infatuated with her. She has an amazing body. You kind of noticed her smile, but you are more focused on her other parts.
You know you are ready to take things to the next level. However, you have an idea that the next level means sex. So, you make your move, but she pushes back, and says that she likes you but she is not ready for that.
Maybe, she takes some time to mention aspirations to step towards more romantic outings, or getting to know where you stand on matters of the heart and family. As she says this, our minds are still entrenched in what panties she is wearing.
So, your response is something to the nature of "Of course we will do those things babe, but can we not just take this step as we go deeper into our relationship? I really need this."
This conversation generally continues until she gives in or she is mad, but not unlikely some essence of both. Of course, I am not denying that sometimes there is no hesitation. However, when there is hesitation it is not uncommon for men get pushy about it.
Now, if you are perfect, and none of that story relates to your experiences, that is great for you. If you are perfect, and a man, do not step close to a woman in this culture and expect she has not been through this just because she has not told you. She probably has been pursued sexually, and ignoring that is not being considerate of her feelings.
Likewise, if you are perfect, and a woman, just because you have not experienced this from a boy yet, do not be foolish and believe they do not exist. Be patient and wait for one who regards you for you, and not for your body.
So, we all have heard men be referred to as dogs before. I doubt I am the only one who has thought about why, but let's break that down.
Take the relationship between cat and dog. Dog sees cat, dog chases cat. This dog gets an insatiable desire to chase the cat. Tongue flopping around, drool dripping out like a water faucet, and chasing relentlessly until all efforts are proven futile, or another cat, squirrel or whatever gets their attention.
Take this dog surround it with cats, and it will chase whichever is closest until they all get away, and realizes he has a tail as he begins to chase it.
Take the cat, specifically one who has not yet met a dog. It may not run at first. After being chased by a dog, or seeing others experience it, the cat will learn to run and hide from every dog they see. They will usually get away for they are far smarter and faster than the dog. They may be smaller and weaker and occasionally become deblitated by coughing up hairballs, but they outwit the dog almost every time.
Men, when we treat women this way, we become the dog taking the role of predator and demote them to prey. You can tell a woman you love her with your mouth a thousand times, but if you treat her as prey, she will run from you every single time.
If you have ever owned a dog and cat in the same household, you may know that they can be trained to be companions. Their natural way, will not make them friends often. As master over the two, would you train the cat not to run, or the dog not to chase, so that they could resolve their differences?
Of course you would train the dog! They are the bigger and have an alpha complex that says they're superior. As their master the dog must be taught to respect the cat and break down their alpha mentality, bringing them into submission of you as their master.
If we want women to trust that our expression of love by our words is not a lie, then we need to make love an action instead of a feeling. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." (1 Corinthians 13:4 NIV).
Patience, well that is quite a gotcha for our typical ways that we pursue women. Patience is not pressuring someone into doing what they are not ready for.
Kind, synonymous to considerate, is not putting our needs before the feelings of others.
Envy, in context of this topic, boys end up in competition for a woman's affection. Two men trying to make the other look bad for self gain.
To boast is to always have a bigger and better story than everyone else.
Pride, is this false idea that you as a man are made by God to please women.
So men, like the dog, are under a lie that makes them act the way they do towards women. You have probably met a few boys who believe they are God's gift to all women they meet. Which is a total lie of the enemy.
And the Lord God said, “ It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. (Genesis 2:18, 20-22 NKJV)Got it guys? She was a gift to you, not the other way around. Made to be a helper not a slave. Not to be a piece of meat. Not your prey.
Now it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born to them, that the sons of God saw the daughters of men, that they were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves of all whom they chose. (Genesis 6:1-2).What I like about this passage is when it took place. This comes from the days of Noah. When God declares that his spirit shall not strive with man forever and declares them to be wicked.
But, he starts by mentioning that men took wives for themselves. Context speaks to me that up to this point they had been faithful to allowing God to be the one who arranges their marriages.
I would be less convinced of that if not for the following verse, "This is the genealogy of Noah. Noah was a just man, perfect in his generations. Noah walked with God." (Genesis 6:9).
So, where I am going with this is simple. God does not change.
If he arranged marriages for people then, and expected obedience to his arranged marriages then he still does. Men, if you agree to that, then regardless of your relationship status you do have a wife. Women, this is no different for you.
In the law of God, one of the 10 commandments is not to commit adultery. Jesus steps in and declares that to simply lust for a woman in your mind is adultery. We cannot realistically control the thoughts that enter our mind, but we can determine how we deal with them.
For me to approach greater success against lustful thinking, I had to admit that God made me, and he also made my wife. He knows me, and he knows her. I have been convicted to lead my life to honor my wife. whom I do not yet know personally. Although, God in heaven does.
In closing, I have a question for you to ask yourself. Even if I have done nothing to speak to your beliefs of God, and his opinion of your lifestyle. Guys, do you want to marry a woman who is helper to you? One that nurtures your household? One that you esteem greatly as you introduce her to your peers? Or would you rather marry a steak?
If you do not choose the steak, though they are delicious, you will need to pursue a new way and be ready to offer her protection and security. She also, will want romance and tenderness.
God bless.
